i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
