Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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