i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
