I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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