Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
