PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize