If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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