I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
