Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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