im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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