Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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