It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
