i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't deserve a penis
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
