FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
