I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
