she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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