that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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