So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We need to rekindle our bromance
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's rum buckets o'clock
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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