bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
