the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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