i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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