it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
