I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
