I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im holly from the hills drunk
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize