You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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