The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
