it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me