I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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