Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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