On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Help. Why am I so naked?
tell me about the fingering
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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