I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
