Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...