yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
