Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
