i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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