All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
