p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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