i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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