i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
