i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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