I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
