I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it because I queefed?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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