You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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