I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
