what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize