Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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