Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
