I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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