oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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