he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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