i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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