Bisexual people are plain selfish.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
try to milk me bitch
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