Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
