Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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