Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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