do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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