yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
