Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
