i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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