i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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