Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
