So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
