6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
