He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
